Falling in love can seem like the most blissful of emotions. Scientifically, the effects of love on our brain are very similar to that of the drug-cocaine. Yes, it’s addictive.
The comfort and sense of stability of being in the arms of your loved ones cannot be compared to any other emotion.
First love, specifically,can never be forgotten .
But this fairytale might not last too long.
Lies, infidelity, insecurity, distance and so many other reasons might pop the bubble of love. Coping up with the aftermath is the ugliest and hardest. Falling in love seems pretty easy but falling out of it can get unbearably hard for so many.
Here are some ways to move on from the most heartbreaking situations:
1)Let the emotions flow first:
Everything seems pointless? Like the world is coming to an end and nothing feels worth getting out of your bed and making an effort for? Do you feel like the most ugly looking person staring in the mirror?
Cry it out. Become a zombie for a while. Sit in a room alone and think of why it happened and how you feel about it. Don’t hold it in. And once you’re done, tell yourself, this is the last time that I’m crying for this person. Remember, accepting the consequences and facing them are the first steps to healing.
2) Pen it down:
If you aren’t much of a cryer its ok, some people aren’t very receptive emotionally. Just write it down. Take a paper and a pen and write out whatever that person made u feel and what you feel about him/her in return. The best and the ugliest of memories.
Then think extremely hard and write all the negative points of that person. Yes, write it down. It’ll help you realise what you already knew but never gave much thought to and ignored because you were in “love”.
Use these negatives to help fade the beautiful picture you had created of this person in your head. When you miss this person again, read this list and snap out of it!
4) Talk to a friend:
Well, you know how your friends are tired of hearing about your on and off relationship. They probably won’t even take you seriously. But in your head you know you need to move on and this time you aren’t going back. Find your closest friend and whether your friend likes it or not talk it out. Just talk about every single thing you miss, and how your heart is hurting, cry a bit if it helps but get vulnerable .
Then ask your friend to give you some clarity.
In many situations its you who is probably responsible for the breakup. In that case stop reading now and go apologise and get your love back. But if you’ve always been the right one your friend who’s a third party (has no soft corners for your partner) would be good judge and give you clarity on the situation.
Now, you might not like getting a blow hearing how bad your relationship was from another mouth. But be a man and accept it.
5) No contact rule:(might get your ex back)
You read it right. Now remember, most of you won’t be able to move past this point cause its fucking hard to do this one.
But you need to stop the contact. No calls, texts, talking through a friend, following on social media. Block them up. Don’t take calls , don’t reply to texts. Just go cold turkey. And follow it religiously for a minimum of 1month, you should extend the time to upto 3 months depending on how bad the breakup was and how long you were dating the person.
Remember, taking time off from a relationship might get the other person to come to some realisations as well, in that case you’re in for a win win.
Nevertheless , it takes 21 days to form a new habit. So you’ll get over it!
6) Savage phase:
Yes you need this ,
Get your party shoes on and open those Bacardi bottles. Binge eat on your favourite foods.You want a mouth full of chocolate cake and shots at 3 pm ? Do it.
Call your friends over , go for a night out,have a movie marathon ,text that coworker you always had a thing for, go on a shopping spree ,take a leave from work to sleep in or go on a week long vacation, go for a spa and pamper yourself, have a movie marathon, but just do it,do all the things you haven’t been able to because you were too in love.
Get on with this savage phase not giving a thought about anything or anybody else.
Life is too short to be uptight.
7) Get you life back together:
Once you’re done being the party monster,its time to take a time out.
Go buy yourself a new journal and pen down how you’ve always envisioned your life to be.Make a list of your goals, start from the ones you’ve had since you were younger.
And make an impeccable schedule for yourself.Follow a good diet and work out. Take care of your body,drinks loads of water,start practising meditation and yoga for a better self esteem.
Take up great activities that you’ve always wanted to do and do them.
Start your day by standing infront of your mirror and telling yourself, “I’m going to become what i’ve always wanted to be because life is too short to cry over somebody.” Remember nobody is going to take care of you ,but you.
8) Date :
Once you’re on the right track looking and feeling your best its time to get back to that ocean of dating. Well, who are we kidding, even if you made it this far ,I’m sure you still have hope from that one relationship that crushed your heart. Tell yourself its ok to casually meet a new person, you won’t be doing anybody no harm by going on one date. Even if it doesn’t click, maybe you’ll find yourself a new friend.
Get on those dating apps, ask your friends to set you up and go have fun.
9) Journal your days:
Writing down about your day can help make you feel tremendously strong,
Write about the things you wanted to say but never could.At this point you might get flashbacks on situations where you were the bad person, write about them take a lesson from them and forgive yourself.
Once you feel like a new rejuvenated person , it’s time to take a step back and ask for that closure you need.
Text back or call up your ex, and be pretty fun and casual about it. Signs of desperation and emotion might ruin all of the hardwork.
Meet up with the person, and tell them how you felt when you were cheated on, or how you felt broken because of this person,
Apologise for the times you think you might have done them wrong.
Remember, if that love was for keeps it’ll happen again naturally,if not you’ll get the closure your heart longed for and you will be set free. Either ways, you need to know you’re good enough and deserve all the love in this world. Don’t settle for anything less.
The road to love is long, your soulmate is out there , every body else is just here to add to your experience and give you maturity before that right person comes along.Feel free to comment your issues and thoughts below
Hope you enjoyed it!:)